Oscar Preview Addendum

I'm writing a quick addendum to my Oscar Preview post, because last night I watched Winter's Bone.  Jennifer Lawrence gave a convincing performance as Ree, a poor rural Missouri teenager, caring for her younger siblings and sick mother, while trying to find her missing father, who has put their family home in jeopardy. (whew!) This movie is lead by mostly little-known actors, and includes several inexperienced actors from the rural Missouri town where the movie was filmed.  While I was impressed with the performances, I was a little confused by the story (both the plausibility and the flow).  I'm really glad I saw this intriguing movie, but in my opinion, it doesn't quite stand up to the other films on the list.   John Hawkes is nominated in the supporting actor category for his role as Ree's uncle.  While I have a soft place in my heart for him because of his LOST days, and I enjoyed his performance, I'm still only torn between Christian Bale and Geoffrey Rush. (BTW, I'm leaning toward Rush).

I'd still love to hear your thoughts, and the Oscar coverage starts in 1 hour!! Woo Hoo!

My Oscar Preview

This year I've seen 9 of the 10 Oscar-nominated Best Picture films.  Since I rarely see more than one or two, I thought I would take the opportunity this year to write my thoughts and predictions.  I hope you'll comment if you would like to join the discussion.  My friend, Caren, told me recently, "Laura, you like to be part of the discourse."  It's so true!  I love to DISCUSS, so let's do it!!

(Let me add that I decided not to distinguish the movie titles with parentheses or underline or bold, because there were so many of them.  They are capitalized, but doing anything else became tedious. I hope that doesn't bother you!)

Best Picture
This year I saw all the Best Picture nominees except Winter's Bone.  I ran out of time, and it was a hard one to find.  My brother, Dave, told me it was his least favorite, and we have similar taste, so I decided not to try very hard.

I honestly enjoyed the remaining nine movies very much.  It was a good year for me to see so many.  Inception and Black Swan were very intriguing, amazingly-filmed movies.  Social Network was of particular interest to me (for obvious reasons), and lived up to my expectations (although I would rank it near the bottom of this list).  Toy Story was nostalgic and a lot of fun.  I love movies like The Fighter, because the  characters are layered - more complicated than the initial impression.  In this case, these real people were played beautifully by the actors who portrayed them.

I was very pleasantly surprised by how much I enjoyed both True Grit and 127 Hours.  I didn't think I wanted to see either movie at the beginning of Oscar season, but after reading about them and hearing recommendations from others, I decided to see them both.  I'm so glad I did.  True Grit was a beautiful movie, with the scenery seeming like an additional character.  The characters were engaging and the dialogue witty.  127 Hours felt like an experience, more than just watching a movie.  The music, too, was fantastic and really contributed to the experience!

I have to say, though, that my favorite movie this year is The King's Speech.  I hate to just go with the crowd on this one, and I'm not necessarily drawn to "pearls and fur" movies (as they say), but I was so moved by Colin Firth's portrayal of the stammering prince/king. I found myself so drawn into his relationships.  The King's Speech made me laugh and cry.  I loved loved loved it, so my pick for Best Picture is The King's Speech. 

Best Actress
I'm at a little bit of a loss in this category, because I didn't see Nicole Kidman (Rabbit Hole), Jennifer Lawrence (Winter's Bone), or Michelle Williams (Blue Valentine).  I probably shouldn't even comment here, but since I am, I will say what I think about the performances of Natalie Portman (Black Swan) and Annette Bening (The Kids Are All Right).  According to the media, the race is really down to these two actresses anyway.

There's been much talk about the fact that Annette Bening has three previous nominations and no wins.  She was nominated for Best Actress in 1999 for American Beauty and in 2004 for Being Julia. (Bening's third nom was Best Supporting Actress in 1990 for The Grifters).  In both 1999 and 2004, she lost to Hilary Swank.  Hilary Swank is not nominated this year, but the question is still, will she lose a third time to a younger actress?

I thought that Natalie Portman's portrayal of a mentally unstable ballerina in Black Swan was amazing.  Really, a-maz-ing!  The movie was a little psycho for me, but she truly pulled off the performance.  She definitely deserves an Academy Award!  On the other hand, Annette Bening really sold the tightly-wound doctor in a sometimes rocky marriage!  BUT, I thought her costar, Julianne Moore, had some of the best scenes. Moore's speech about marriage ("Marriage is a marathon.  It's f*ing hard with a lot of slogging through!" - I paraphrase!) was really really powerful!

I pick Natalie Portman to win.  She truly transformed herself into her character, requiring a lot of physical and mental endurance.  I'll be fine if Annette Bening wins, though, even if it's just because she's already lost twice to actresses in their twenties!  I have Empathy.

Best Actor
Of the five nominated performances, I saw four.  I didn't see Javier Bardem in Biutiful.  Jesse Eisenberg was convincing in the role of Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg, but I didn't think The Social Network was as good as some of these others, and wouldn't pick Eisenberg to win.

Choosing between the remaining three actors is very hard for me.  I've talked about how much I loved The King's Speech, and I thought Colin Firth's performance was fantastic!  I would like to know how many minutes of the movie, 127 Hours, included only James Franco.  This thoroughly engaging movie was almost completely Franco's gripping performance as a hiker pinned by a rock for 127 hours.  The story, too, was much more than just how he survived his ordeal, and much much more than just the fact that (**spoiler alert -- if you don't know how he escaped and don't want to, don't read the rest of this sentence**) he had to cut off his arm to free himself!

Jeff Bridges is a fantastic actor.  I loved him in last year's Crazy Heart and again this year as a U. S. Marshal in True Grit.  Bridges won last year, beating out Colin Firth, who was nominated for A Single Man.  I'm not sure that Bridges' performance is outstanding enough to win two years in a row.  (The last back-to-back winner was Tom Hanks for Philadelphia - 1993, and Forrest Gump - 1994). Bridges has really hit his stride, though, and I look forward to what's next for him.


Ok, now is the time that I have to choose, so I think I'm going to go with Colin Firth. I just loved The Kings Speech so much.  If James Franco wins, though, I will be equally as happy.  


Best Supporting Actress
In this category, I saw four of the five performances.  I didn't watch Jacki Weaver in Animal Kingdom.  You know how I feel about The King's Speech, and Helena Bonham Carter did a lovely job as the (eventual) Queen Mother.  In The Fighter, Amy Adams (as girlfriend) and Melissa Leo (as mother) were really instrumental in the movie's success (of course, we'll get to Christian Bale in a minute).  Of the two, though, I would vote for Adams over Leo, even though Leo seems to be a front runner in this race.

I honestly think that Hailee Steinfeld is nominated in the wrong category.  She portrays a 14-year-old spitfire, out to revenge her father's death, in True Grit.  She is really the main character in this story, and a commanding performance on her part was essential.  She delivered in a major way, and for that Hailee Steinfeld gets my vote in this category!



Best Supporting Actor
I saw three of the performances in this category.  I didn't see John Hawkes in The Winter's Bone, or Jeremy Renner in The Town (although I really wanted to).  According to things I've read, it seems that this race is pretty  much down to two men: Christian Bale in The Fighter, and Geoffrey Rush in The King's Speech.  Mark Ruffalo is also nominated for his role as the sperm donor in The Kids Are All Right.

I liked Ruffalo's performance, but I didn't think it was nearly as good as the performances of Bale and Rush.  I'm having trouble deciding which actor will get my vote.  Bale really lost himself in the character of Dicky Edlund, the former-boxer-turned-drug-addict who now trains his little brother.  Bale's portrayal of Dicky really shines, in a movie full of great performances.  As the prince/king's speech therapist, Geoffrey Rush goes toe-to-toe with Colin Firth, in what will probably be Firth's Oscar-winning performance.  I loved Rush's character and loved watching the beautiful friendship that developed between the prince and the therapist.

I think this race may just be too close for me to call right now.  I'll make my pick by Sunday night (not that anyone is holding his/her breath for news of what I decide)!



My Closing Remarks
In light of the fact that this is an Oscar post, I would like to give my own little thank you speech.  I'm elated that I was able to see almost all the best picture movies, and I have some people to thank.  First, I'll thank the Academy for having the Oscars, because it really does make me happy (pathetic? maybe.), and gets me out to the movies!  Next, I would like to thank Alex Schmidt for challenging my assumption that I would never have time to see movies during the day.  I would like to thank Dave and Rachel Zahniser for encouraging me to see 127 Hours, and Caren Wood for taking time out of her day to see it with me.  Thank you to Faye and Clair for babysitting on a couple of Friday afternoons, so I could go see The King's Speech and The Fighter.  Thank you to Steve and Caren Wood for recommending True Grit. And last, but not least, a big thank you to my dear husband, Gary Pierson.  Thank you for working hard and being willing to indulge my Oscar-season movie needs.  I couldn't have done it without your support (or your money! lol).

Thanks for reading, and I would love to hear your thoughts and predictions about the Academy Awards (which air this Sunday, Feb 27 at 7pm Central on abc)!

Every Woman Needs a Wife!

You've heard this expression, right? "Every woman needs a wife."  I believe it's never more true than during this time of year.  Oh, if I just had a wife to help me through the holiday season!!  Can I hear an "Amen" here?

Here's the thing about December: until the week before Christmas, nothing that is on the regular weekly schedule actually stops to make room for all the extra holiday stuff!  We still go to soccer practice, Kumon, Kid's Quest at church, etc.  The kids still have homework and spelling words.  Not to mention the fact that the family still needs to eat, wear clean clothes and live in a somewhat clean environment.  Right?  So where is the time to help the kids make their Christmas lists and then send them to family?  When do I shop for the exact gifts the kids want and then hide them until it's time to wrap them (also my job)? How am I suppose to shop for and mail gifts to out-of-town folks?  What about the baking and food prep?

Do you see where I'm headed with this?  A wife would be a great addition to the month of December.  The amount of babysitting I need to accommodate all the parties and activities, alone, could keep my wife busy 1) taking care of the kids or 2) booking the sitters!  Splitting everything with a wife would make the work manageable, don't you think?  She could drive the kids around town to their activities, and I could hit the mall (and I haven't even discussed the time it takes to make a list, figure out which store coupons I have and can use, plan my trips according to which stores are close together so I can accomplish more with each outing, etc...).   While I baked, she could load the dishwasher and wipe down the countertops (or vice versa, honestly, I'd clean if she wanted to bake!). She could make the trips to the post office, or just sit in the car with the kids so I wouldn't have to get them all out.  And she could definitely help keep the kids from finding their gifts, and help me remember which wrapping paper is used for "Santa gifts" and which is safe for regular presents.  (Maybe, just maybe, she'd also be really good at making chocolate martinis, for those nights when even two moms didn't feel like enough!!)

Ah, a wife, just what I need this Christmas, but she'd have to be free, of course, because who can afford to PAY for help in December???

Halloween

This year we experienced Halloween from two different perspectives! The big kids (at 7 & 9) have gotten to the place where it's just really all about the candy.  They cared less about what costumes they wore.  They wanted bigger bags that held more candy, and they wanted to run from house to house.  I remembered these days, so I tried not to get frustrated, and I accommodated them if I could.

On the other hand, Mary is just starting out in this whole Halloween process.  She loves candy, and this year she seemed to understand that this night was about getting it. She also loves people, so the socializing was also great fun! G & R taught her how to say, "trick or treat" and spent the day quizzing her: "Mary, what do you say if you want candy?" or "We ring the bell and then what do we say?" Mary: "Twick o tweet!" (with enthusiasm).

Mary seemed up to the challenge, but just before we left we decided to do a trial run.  She and I went outside and knocked on the door.  The kids opened it, and I said, "Mary, what do you say?" Mary looked at me and looked at them, and then very excitedly said, "Gimme some candy!"

Well, she ended up doing fine.  She said "Twick o tweet" at almost every house, and sometimes she got "pease" and "tank coo" mixed up, but for the most part she was a very polite ladybug.  The big kids were a little frustrated with her, though, because she took the whole thing at her own pace.  She LOVED the pumpkins, and wanted to touch and talk about just about each one that she saw. "Oo, that's a big punkin!" "Look at that punkin!" At several houses, when the bowl  of candy was extended to her to pick a piece, she said things like, "Umm.  I don't know.  What's this called?" (showing a piece to the kind person holding the bowl).  And at one house, when a man with a very scary mask was passing out the candy, rather than be scared, she went right up to him and said, "Hi! What's you name?"

It was a fun night, and the kids ended up with plenty of good candy! Mary had us laughing all evening, and even though she doesn't really know it, she's also turning out to be a very, very good candy-sharer!! ;)

You Came Back!

Mary is very outgoing, and she enjoys going to the Mom's-Day-Out program that she attends twice a week.  She also likes the nursery at church and the childcare at the gym.  It sure makes things easier for me!!  I know she likes being with me too, though, because when I return, I'm always met with an exuberant "You came back!" This exclamation is often followed by lots of running around the room and exclaiming to everyone, "My mommy's back!" "That's my mom. She came back." (I am not  exaggerating!).

Lately, the "you came back" routine starts when we pull into the parking lot.  I say, "Here we are.  Are you ready to go play with the kids?"  She usually says "Yes.", and lately she's started adding, "And you'll come back." Of course my answer is,"Yes, I'll come back."

There's a psychological term for this.  The psychologist, Mary Ainsworth, coined the term "securely attached".  This aspect of Attachment Theory is explained as: "Securely attached children exhibit distress when separated from caregivers and are happy when their caregiver returns.  Remember, these children feel secure and able to depend on their adult caregivers.  When the adult leaves, the child may be upset but he or she feels assured that the parent or caregiver will return." (http://psychology.about.com/od/loveandattraction/a/attachment01.htm)

So, there you have it -- making my kids feel securely attached is part of my job (a big part!).  Being with them is a blessing, but being away from them can be too.  What I'm trying to do is to make sure that they feel the security necessary to be sad when I leave and happy when I return.  And, according to attachment theory, the attachment that they feel to me as kids will transfer to how they relate to others as adults.  This parenting stuff -- it's so important -- it really matters.  And while I'm so far from perfect, I know that when I do my very best to love and care for them, then (Lord willing!) I'm raising them to be securely attached adults, who are able to love and care for themselves and others.  And, really, isn't that what it's all about?

For now, I'll just do my best each day, and...

"Yes, Mary, I'll always come back."

These are the kinds of problems to have!

When we first moved into our condo (last month), I posted a status update on Facebook about how much I missed my DirecTV and DVR.  Watching local channels, without the possibility of pausing or forwarding through commercials was just too much for me.  One of my friends commented in response to this complaint, "These are the kinds of problems to have!" And I thought, "Isn't that the truth? How lucky am I, and yet I complain?"


For the last few weeks, through the postings of a Facebook friend, I have been following and praying for the precious little life of Baby Ewan.  His parents started a blog (http://www.team-ewan.com), documenting Ewan's fight for life.  He was born with a heart problem. His mom, Kirsten, explains that, "Ewan has been diagnosed with a congenital heart defect called Tetralogy of Fallot with Pulmonary Atresia, which consists of a combination of four defects in the heart. It is estimated that Tetralogy of Fallot occurs in as many as 5 out of every 10,000 births. There are several forms of Tetralogy of Fallot that range in severity. Ewan is diagnosed with the most severe form." Each day he lived was a miracle, but also wrought with pain for Baby Ewan and his family.


Ewan went to heaven on October 3rd.  As I read Ewan's mom's daily account of happenings in his life, and then her varied responses to the loss of him (which you can read here and here), I began to think about my own blog (this blog)!  When thinking about the posts I've written lately, I couldn't help but think, "These are the kinds of problems to have." Somehow the fact that I am not in a book club seems almost laughably unimportant.  If the only thing I have to say goodbye to is my house, I am amazingly fortunate! And I know that Kirsten would give anything for Ewan to be two like Mary.  You get where I'm going with this.  Problems, schmoblems!  Really!


So I've thought long and hard about what I should do.  I decided that I'm not going to stop writing this Mommy-with-a-Masters-themed blog, even with the relatively unimportant worries and complaints that I have.  The writing is good for me.  There are times, too, when I feel like the things that I say resonate with others in a way that is helpful.  But, in honor of Baby Ewan, I will forever go forth with a different perspective.  I want all of you who read this blog to know that I will try very hard not to take myself, or my issues, too seriously.  From now on, I'm going to double my efforts at being deeply and completely thankful for my dear children.  I will hold them closer and love on them more.  I will cherish these moments and days, because there may come a time when I have them no more.  And I will pray.  I will pray for Ewan; his parents, Kirsten and James; and all who know and love them.  I will pray for all children who are sick, and those who are dying, and for the friends and families that love and care for them.  I will pray for all who have lost children and loved ones.  I will pray for myself, for my husband and for my kids. And I will pray for you!  


For now I'm thankful that my problems are the kind that are desirable, but I know that this can change in an instant. I encourage each of you to pull your loved ones closer today, and make sure that each day ends with the satisfaction of a life well-lived through people deeply-loved.

Book Club

Those of you who know me, or have read this blog, know that I love to read.  I have always felt like I would really enjoy being in a book club.  Making that happen, though, when I have three kids and a husband who works a lot, has been difficult (in fact, impossible so far, given the fact that I'm not IN a book club).  Book club is something that I often think I'll add to my life once I have less parenting responsibilities (or at least don't have to find babysitters to do everything).

A few weeks ago, Gregory (9) brought home a permission slip that said that the librarian was offering a book club for kids in 4th and 5th grades who are interested.  The kids who sign up are able to choose between two books (a more traditionally "boy" book and "girl" book), and they meet with the librarian twice a week (during lunch) for a month.  Gregory, very excitedly, brought me the permission slip and as I signed it I said to him, "I think it's great that you want to be part of the book club.  I would love to be in a book club." And dear Gregory responded by saying, "Mom, I think you would like the book we're reading.  If you wanted to read it with me, I could take some of your ideas to book club and share them with the group."

Two things about his sentences struck me.  First of all, I was thankful for his considerate response.  He HEARD what I said, and he responded with the only thing he could think of that would help.  Secondly, he didn't realize that HE was one of the reasons I couldn't be in my own book club.  This is my (current) life: On the one hand, I'm not free to do all the things I know I would enjoy, because much of my focus in on raising my kids.  On the other hand, because I'm dedicating so much of myself to raising my kids, every once in a while one of them responds to me in a way that makes me know how important (and rewarding) this life's work really is.

One day I will be in a book club all my own.  I will read books, get together with other adults who have read them, drink wine and talk for as long as I want!  But someday, all too soon, I will have to hear about Gregory's books over the telephone from somewhere other than my own home.  While he's here, I will try to cherish these moments -- the glimpses of the man he will become -- and, rather than resent the things he keeps me from, I will look for the joy in (and give myself some credit for) the kid that he is and the relationship that we have!