Wednesday, September 01, 2010

Wouldn't You Like to Be Two Again?

Don't you think it would be fun to go back to being a two year old? If you need convincing, I'll tell you what your life would be like if you were Mary!

If you were two, like Mary, you would enjoy your favorite TV show bright and early in the morning, while someone brought you milk and "mo miiiilk". You really wouldn't have to worry about getting much of anything for yourself, because, if you were Mary, you would have two parents and two siblings to pretty much cater to all your needs.

If you were two, like Mary, you would certainly understand where the potty was, and you would know its purpose, but there really wouldn't be any need for you to use it. I mean really, you wouldn't need to -- not with one, sometimes two, very capable adults willing to change you (even if they had to chase you down to do it).

If you were two, like Mary, you wouldn't have to worry about your singing voice, because the fact that you were singing the words to songs noone even knew you knew would be very sweet.  Your rendition of Dave Matthews' "You and Me"  and Train's "Soul Sister" would be unexpectedly accurate for your age, and people would never doubt your love for music.

If you were two, like Mary, the rules wouldn't really apply to you. You could obey your mom pretty much only when you felt like it. No street would be off limits to you, and if your mom got distracted at soccer practice, it wouldn't be a big deal for you to wander off to the nearest playground. Also, if you didn't really like the way things, in general, were going down, you could just lie on the floor face down and refuse to get up until everyone in the room wondered what was wrong with your mom. That would be a sure way to make the point of your displeasure, and probably convince your mom to do what you wanted after all.

If you were two, like Mary, you could pretty much eat whatever you wanted.  Vegetables would, of course, be optional.  If you didn't like what your mom served, you could just throw it on the ground.  That wouldn't be a big deal.  And every trip to Schnuck's grocery store would include a free kids' cookie (as it should), and it would be great if you started asking for that cookie the minute your mom pulled into the parking lot.

If you were two, like Mary, everyone would think you were cute and funny. I mean, how could they help it, when "yes" didn't really work for you, as an answer to a question, and instead you preferred to say, "Yeah, sure!" ( in your great Demi Moore voice)? And how could people not laugh when something made you really happy and you started chanting "Uh huh, oh yeah, boogie, boogie!"?  You would win everyone over, and certainly not be intimidated by the construction workers fixing (and blocking) your steps, because a simple, "Xcuse me, guys!" would make them clear a path for you.

If you were two, like Mary, you would know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you were truly loved! You would know that the parents and the big kids in your family would think that you hung the moon, no matter how many cups of milk they had to pour,  dirty diapers they had to change, embarrassing face-plants they had to endure, vegetables they had to scrape off the floor, or booty-shaking they got to enjoy!

Really, it would be great to be two again!  If you were two, like Mary, you would require a lot of patience, care and love, but everyone would be happy to accommodate, because you would be worth every minute of it!


  1. She really is an incredibly cute kid! This post reminds me so much of X. I wish I could say he's outgrown some of this now that he's 6, but, not so much. Lol. I'm pretty sure it's a birth order thing - once the baby, always the baby (and the center of attention)!

  2. I can totally verify this post. She is totally a charmer, and yes, has a very convincing Demi Moore accent!!!!
    I miss you even more, now that we got to spend some time together, but I'm totally ok with that! :-)

  3. @Alex, I'm sure, like Mary, X's older siblings have been more than happy to accommodate his needs! :)

    @Jinny, I really really wish you lived closer, but with you, I'll take the visits and the missing over no visits at all!! Tell Jack that Mary says "Hi!" LOL

  4. And if you were two, like Mary, you could make your best adult friend stop whatever it was she was doing at any time of the day to dig out treats for the cat, find your favorite cookie, bang on drums, dig in the mulch, water the plants and your pants ("heh heh, sorry Woo!").

    Great post, Laura.

  5. Oh, Woo, how she loves you! (Partly because you do all those things for her!! :)