Wednesday, May 05, 2010

A Well-Rounded Life

I've been watching the first season of the TV series, In Treatment, on DVD. The main character, Paul, is in therapy with his wife, Kate. They've been married 20ish years, and are having marital problems. In the episode I watched this weekend, Kate told Paul that she didn't feel like she was living a "well-rounded life". She felt that she had lost herself, among the daily duties of wife and mother (I'm paraphrasing).

I feel this way sometimes. I feel like my life is heavy on taking care of others, and light on finding my own fulfillment. You can read my post on Housework, to understand why I don't really have hobbies. You can read my post on eyebrow waxing (It's the Little Things...), to know that the times I pamper myself are few and far between. But that's not what I'm talking about. I'm not talking about needing a break from my kids and household duties. I'm not even talking about finding time for myself. I'm talking about doing things that make me feel competent, and intelligent and necessary. I'm thankful that I'm able to stay home with my kids. I love them, and most of the time I love being with them. I love my husband an immeasurable amount. Most days, I'm proud to be the wife and mother that I am, but I do want to have an identity beyond that. I want to be more well-rounded. Is that possible in this stage of life?

How do you do it? If you're a stay-at-home mom, how do you do it? What do you do to bring fulfillment to your life? If you're a working mom, how do you do it? How do you bring balance to your life? I'd love to hear from you -- all of you -- to know what works for you. How do you stay centered and how do you stay in touch with yourself?


  1. I feel this way a lot. And sometimes I feel so selfish for those feelings, because I am so fortunate to be able to be home! Now that J and C are both in school, I have more time for me. I am no longer painting (may start up again someday) but I do a LOT of volunteer work! that seems to bring some balance. John travels ALL the time, so it is really not realistic for me to look for a job outside the home. But quite honestly, recently (like just this year recently, and I have been home for 9 years) I have found a real peace in being home. Raising these two boys is quite an important job! :) Anyway, this is a bit all over the place, but I'm glad you started the conversation! I look forward to reading more...

  2. Thanks for your comments, Gabi. I wonder sometimes what I will feel like when Mary is also in school. Will I get a job? Full or part-time? I just don't know. I really appreciate hearing from your perspective. I also post these blog entries on Facebook, and there were some other comments to this post on FB, if you're interested. L